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  • She took a muligan also

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    • RUN with it! LMAO

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      • In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin, and very proud of it.

        Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure

        everything was in proper order when she died, she went to the town's undertaker,

        (who also happened to be the local postal clerk) to make proper "final" arrangements.

        As a last wish, she informed the undertaker that she wanted the following inscription

        engraved on her tombstone:


        "BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED AS A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN"



        Not long after, the old maid died peacefully.



        A few days after the funeral, as the undertaker/postal clerk went to prepare the

        tombstone that the lady had requested, it became quite apparent that the tombstone

        she had selected was much too small for the wording that she had chosen.

        He thought long and hard about how he could fulfill the old maid's final request,

        considering the very limited space available on the small piece of stone.

        For days, he agonized over the dilemma; but finally his experience as a postal

        worker allowed him to come up with what he thought was the appropriate solution

        to the problem.


        The virgin's tombstone was finally completed and duly engraved, and it read as follows:

        "RETURNED UNOPENED"

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        • That'll bring em back Dennis
          Don't get tripped by what's behind you

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          • LOL...then what about "Return to sender, address unknown"?????

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            • What type of government ran the Garden of Eden?
              Socialist of course. Why else would they think they're in paradise when they were homeless,naked, and thinks food grows on trees
              Last edited by iadave; 04-08-2019, 10:19 PM.

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              • what happens when a frog is illegally parked?










                It gets toad

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                • On a paper, PRINT the word: SWIMS

                  then turn the paper around and read the word:...

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                  • Why is it so hard for women to find boy friends that are sensitive, caring, and good looking?
                    Because all those men already have boy friends.

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                    • Tomorrow is national diarrhea day. Runs all day long!

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                      • What do you call a camel with no humps?




                        Humphrey

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                        • Q: What do you call a Muslim who owns a camel and a goat?
                          A: Bisexual.

                          Q: How do Muslims practice safe sex?
                          A: They mark the camels that kick.

                          Q: What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats?
                          A: A pimp.

                          Q: How do you tell a Sunni from a Shiite?
                          A: The Sunnis are the ones with the Shiite blown out of them.

                          Q: What's the hardest part about a Muslim killing his own daughter?
                          A: Suppressing the erection

                          Q: What's the difference between a Muslim and a vampire?
                          A: At some point the vampire will stop being bloodthirsty.

                          Q: What do Tehran and Hiroshima have in common?
                          A: Nothing, yet... but hopefully soon.

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                          • This is the best, most Interesting English lesson I have had to date.
                            Did you know "listen" and "silent" use the same letters?













































                            Do you know that the word "racecar" spelled backwards still spells "racecar”?













































                            And that "eat" is the only word that if you take the first letter and move it to the last, it spells its past tense "ate”?













































                            Have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in "illegal immigrants," and add just a few more letters, it spells: "Go home you free-loading, benefit- grabbing, resource-sucking, non-English-speaking *******s and take those other hairy-faced, sandal-wearing, bomb-making, camel-riding, goat-shagging, raggedy-*** bast*rds with you."


                            How weird is that?
























                            edited, and do NOT ask me why all the space between....


















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                            • My Grandpa always said, " When one door closes another opens." He was a good man but not much of a cabinet maker.

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                              • And the worst joke so far! Trying to plant this year!

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